So back the fuck up and check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Oh, not you, sorry! You’re fabulous! No, I’m talking to the negativity within me and all the bitches that have ever fed that black hole of bastard-liness, including me.
In a surprising turn of events, it was made very clear to me that I can’t work for anyone else anymore. That tugboat has been decommissioned and sold for parts. I wasn’t even aware of how strongly I felt about the way I think things should run until I ran straight into the walls of ignorance and self-importance recently. Not mine and for the last time from that side of things. No, my ignorance is mainly limited to continually giving people too much credit.
But this time, this time I’m not waiting 5 or 10 years to call “Bullshit,” this time I’m throwing the shit at the fan and walking away.
I know, I know, this is so cryptic, right?! My bad. But you know what? None of the rest of it matters. I’ve got a message for the negativity and fear and self-deprecating tendencies inside of me. Listen up, bitches:
I’m terrified and exhilarated and my brain hurts. I really didn’t seriously consider going for real solo. I mean, it seemed like a cute dream, you know what I mean? But I can’t turn back. That road isn’t for me. Never really was, but I know I had shit to learn.
√ LEARNED SHIT – checkity check check check
I don’t know what I’m going to do and I’ve almost depleted my sabbatical savings, but I have faith in myself and whatever purpose God has for me – I know I’m running a little late in the grand scheme of things, but what’s new? Haha!!
I talk smack about it and I mean that smack, too, but I have to admit that my anxiety has been the catalyst for so many amazing happenings in my life, especially in the last few years. What else can I say but that this just circles back to my belief that everything happens for a reason! Even your fucken excessive anxiety. So stay tuned for the next season!! Hahaha 🙂
And I’ll leave you with this…
XOXO – K