Arranging An Approval Apocalypse

Say THAT 5 times fast.

I like it, it’s catchy and it feels…purposeful, which means “powerful” in my brain’s native tongue. Your brain has its own unique dialect, but I bet if you asked, it would come up with a similar definition. Aaaand that’s not my point here, sorry. Moving along.

I know, you’re thinking, “WTF is an ‘Approval Apocalypse’?! Sounds dangerous!” Don’t worry, we’re not talking about the end of the world apocalypse. The apocalypse that this arrangement is about is you know, just a watered down, personal apocalypse, NBD.

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And what are we  destroying? The dastardly demon that is our need for other people’s approval. I haven’t asked EVERYone ever, but I would say it’s a pretty solid assumption that all of everyone who has ever existed has lived with some degree of this demon’s shadows, so it’s nothing to be ashamed of. But it is something that you should really consider apocalypse-ing.
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Okay, okay, no, it’s not that easy. Most of us have a whole lifetime of habit to hack through and the Demon has only been made more powerful and prevalent by social media and the ability of other’s to opine on what is, “none they damn business.”
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In addition, there is so much bullshit out there it’s exhausting just to check emails. Not to mention, sadly, that a good chunk of the bullshit is what’s posted by people in an effort to make themselves feel better by making other people feel worse.
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Hey, hey, now, not EVERYONE does that, but I’d wager that a very large percentage of shit you see in your Facebook feed is either a polarized (good or bad) version of the truth or just plain bullshit. And you know what, we’re not gonna judge those people for that. I love stories, always have, so as long as those people don’t do anything to try and pull me into their fairytale, that’s something I can drop like it’s hot, no problem.
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Now let’s get to the serious part and how this is connected to my little anxiety theme.
This is a heavy-hitter, maybe the heaviest in the bull pit, for me. I have a tendency to overwhelm myself with the need for others’ approval because I confuse wanting to make people happy with my own happiness.
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Basically, I trade my happiness for what I think is the happiness of others, when really, their happiness is their responsibility, not mine.
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Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s part of my life’s purpose to make people smile, but I need to know when to say when with that. “When” for me is when instead of thinking about what will make me feel like I’ve fulfilled my purpose in this life, I’m worried about not inconveniencing someone else by, oh, I don’t know, making them get their own lunch? Don’t ask. Long story. Moving on.
I’ve got a list of things that you might find useful if you decide to join me in arranging an Approval Apocalypse of your own.  Some are quotes, which I won’t go into a big explanation about because if it speaks to you, you don’t need my take on it.
  • Don’t make other people’s wants your needs.


  •  I found this online and couldn’t find the origin, but it really hit a heart-string:
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  • We all compare ourselves to others, it’s human nature that’s evolved into a nasty habit. Try not to be one of the “Most” here: Image result for other people's opinions are none of my business
  • A good thing to ponder:

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  • When you feel that feeling of shame and/or doubt creeping up your spine, STOP. Ask yourself if this person’s opinion will matter in a year? 3 years? 5 years? If not, then don’t let them dictate your definition of yourself. I’ve realized and finally admitted to myself – and now you – that yes, I LIKE other people’s approval. And you know what? That’s okay! What I work on is remembering that it is not necessary.


  • Before you bungee jump off the cliff of conclusions, STOP. Ask yourself how YOU really feel about whatever – or whoever – it is that’s at the bottom of that jump. This takes A LOT of repetition, so even though I found it irritating and thought of it as a waste of time for some of the smaller decisions, I realize now that those little decisions that I did this little “pause” for are why I took the time for the bigger ones ever since.
  • Trust yourself.

The Voice(1)

  • At first I just thought this was funny, so I kept it pinned up by my computer. Now I realize that seeing it everyday has helped my brain to now make it a factor included in my endless considerations each day and focus on what’s actually important to ME and not what might garner other people’s approval.


  • Take some time – as much as you need – and write down the names of the people you love, the people who touch your life on a daily basis, people who know your name and make an effort to be in your life. This list will evolve over time, of course, but I think keeping it is multi-purposeful, it tells you who pays attention to you and who you should pay attention to.


This is a HUGE undertaking and it’s not going to be easy for most of us, but if you decide to do it, I’m absolutely certain it’ll be worth it. And I’m even more sure that you’re worth it.

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Take care of yourselves!



Oh, wait! I almost forgot one of my favorites, it’s something my dad used to say and I find it both hilarious AND helpful to remember!

Opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one and they all stink.



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