Something Happens Inside: New Energy

My particular cocktail of personal issues include pairs that, on the surface, don’t seem like they could co-exist in one person without said person being completely batshit crazy (as opposed to the genteel “Just a Teensy Bit” crazy that most of us are, wink wink).

One of these Odd Couple of Issues is how I have less than ideal self-esteem and self-image issues, and yet still prefer, STRONGLY, to avoid being singled out in recognition for things I do at work or in any group setting, even family gatherings. Wouldn’t it seem like I would gravitate towards the recognition to help coax the fires of my esteem mojo? Drilling down into my perspective roots, I realized that recognition and reward are basically manifestations of intended compliments. I am lousy at taking compliments. Seems I’m not alone in that because, me being me, of course I googled it.

And here a few of my favorite results:

Psychology Today and this one

Huffington Post

Forbes

The Atlantic

 

If you’ve not heard of or stopped by Psychology Today’s website yet, allow me to introduce one of my favorite places to dawdle that consistently ranks in the top 10 websites I visit on the regular. (Psst…you can read all of their back issues, like the ones below, here)

What I didn’t realize until recently is that I’m actually on the normal end of the compliment acceptance pool, especially as a female. We’re the worst at accepting compliments. But guess what? The best at giving them.

Image result for accepting a compliment

I used to think that I would be making other people feel bad if I was singled out in front of them as a sort of “winner” and I was afraid people would think I was conceited or a show-off if I didn’t brush it off with some lame way to downplay what was, really, my fricken hard work being recognized. Then one day I found this:

Fear of excellence

I read this and I realized that by downplaying my own awesomeness, I was teaching others, by example, to do the same. Instead of this display of what I thought was humility, I was teaching self-oppression! That was so not where I had been trying to take people and after the day that I read this, I’ve made a conscious choice to accept compliments, especially when I know I deserve them.

Image result for accepting a compliment

I’ll tell you what, though, it’s a LOT easier to take compliments and the like for things I DO, like work things – things that generally come straight from my brain, that is. It’s still a struggle for me to take compliments for my appearance or anything that I classify as originating anywhere other than my brain.

Image result for accepting a compliment

But whenever I catch myself brushing off a compliment, I do my best to remember that it’s not being conceited and I don’t want to give anyone the idea that THEY should do that. I can’t always catch the brush-off before the words leave my mouth, but I’m working on it.

Image result for accepting a compliment

I hope that you remember this beautiful collection of words by Ms. Williamson (it’s an excerpt from her book Return to Love). I read it almost every day and it’s etched into the walls of my judgmental mind as a permanent reminder.

66da1e5d471ac2bc689ed59ea9810cb0

One of my rules of life these days is:

Always Shine. You never know who else is lost and may need your light to guide them.

Give ’em some light, show ’em how it’s done.

99c5c694fdcd4c8fdddfcb02472f466f--marianne-williamson-butterflies

Take care of  yourselves!

XOXO

K

 

 

 

3 thoughts on “Something Happens Inside: New Energy

  1. Com-pli-ment: together travel, conduct, and provisions expressing the means or result of an action. A com-ment should ap-ply this behavior; it is sinking under to lift means. Resourcing method and sharing capability.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s